My life has changed since June. I don't know where I am mentally, I'm happy. I'm getting to where I want to be. I'm learning what scares me. Maybe my next step is learning why those things scare me. I'm not going to drink anymore. I've deleted Facebook. I'm not hanging out with anyone I don't feel comfortable around. Friendship should be effortless. I'm going to eat real food. I'm going to go to the Physio and not stop going until my tendon is healed. Then I am going to exercise. I need a clear mind and a healthy body. I'm not going to be 20 forever and I need to get shit done. But who am I if not messy and forgetful and reliant on alcohol? I had a bad acid trip once. I had an epiphany. I realised the world does not revolve around me. I am not nothing, I am something but everyone is something. I have to stop trying to get everybody to like me. I can't meet every single human and be their friend. Sometimes there are cool people you don't get to be friends with. Such is life. Such is Gemma.