Sunday 18 October 2015
Thursday 8 October 2015
Wednesday 7 October 2015
How fun is life?
I can't stop thinking, but my mind is always blank.
I love myself but that is bad. Why does respecting myself make me an asshole? People don't like that. I don't want to be in-genuine but I want people to like me. I try so hard to go with exactly what I feel I want to do, 100% genuine. But people find that so odd, so uncomfortable. I don't care what people think, I just wish more people understood me. I'm not another fucking species. I just live for me. My ex boyfriend taught me that. I too thought it was so strange.
"What? You don't want to hang out because you just don't feel like it?"
And then I realised WHY WOULD YOU MAKE YOURSELF DO SOMETHING YOU SEE NO VALUE IN DOING? Why do we force ourselves to do shit when we don't want to? Be genuine, be honest. The rest will work itself out.
I got drunk the other night and messaged this guy. I have spoken to him very briefly at parties before, I have always thought he was cuuuuuuuute as. I said this -
"I think you're made of butterflies, are you? :)))"
At first, the next day I was soo embarrassed. Dammit Gemma, be cool. And then I was like, HOLD UP, I would LOVE someone to tell me I was made of butterflies. That is a big ass compliment.
(he replied with "Well duh! V sweet", which is a response I totally approve of)
Anyway, my point is, do whatever the fuck you want and the people that approve are the people you keep. I think. I'm still testing the theory for loopholes.
I have crushes on so many people. Maybe what I call crushes are what other people just feel when they think someone is hot? Either way, how cool are people? I want to hang out with all of them - well, just the ones I have crushes on.
Sometimes I think I post too many photos of myself, or too many statuses, or laugh too loud, or have too many pimples, or too many friends, not enough best friends, don't go on enough dates, talk to too many strangers on the internet, don't hug when I should hug, get too drunk, dance too much, don't listen to enough music, don't watch enough movies, tell too many people I have crushes on them. But I think that if everything you do, you do with confidence - you will be ok. People will still think you're weird or uncool or whatever but at least you will feel great about it and what's life if not one big attempt to feel great?
How fun is flirting though? And kissing? And laughing so hard your tummy hurts?
I love myself but that is bad. Why does respecting myself make me an asshole? People don't like that. I don't want to be in-genuine but I want people to like me. I try so hard to go with exactly what I feel I want to do, 100% genuine. But people find that so odd, so uncomfortable. I don't care what people think, I just wish more people understood me. I'm not another fucking species. I just live for me. My ex boyfriend taught me that. I too thought it was so strange.
"What? You don't want to hang out because you just don't feel like it?"
And then I realised WHY WOULD YOU MAKE YOURSELF DO SOMETHING YOU SEE NO VALUE IN DOING? Why do we force ourselves to do shit when we don't want to? Be genuine, be honest. The rest will work itself out.
I got drunk the other night and messaged this guy. I have spoken to him very briefly at parties before, I have always thought he was cuuuuuuuute as. I said this -
"I think you're made of butterflies, are you? :)))"
At first, the next day I was soo embarrassed. Dammit Gemma, be cool. And then I was like, HOLD UP, I would LOVE someone to tell me I was made of butterflies. That is a big ass compliment.
(he replied with "Well duh! V sweet", which is a response I totally approve of)
Anyway, my point is, do whatever the fuck you want and the people that approve are the people you keep. I think. I'm still testing the theory for loopholes.
I have crushes on so many people. Maybe what I call crushes are what other people just feel when they think someone is hot? Either way, how cool are people? I want to hang out with all of them - well, just the ones I have crushes on.
Sometimes I think I post too many photos of myself, or too many statuses, or laugh too loud, or have too many pimples, or too many friends, not enough best friends, don't go on enough dates, talk to too many strangers on the internet, don't hug when I should hug, get too drunk, dance too much, don't listen to enough music, don't watch enough movies, tell too many people I have crushes on them. But I think that if everything you do, you do with confidence - you will be ok. People will still think you're weird or uncool or whatever but at least you will feel great about it and what's life if not one big attempt to feel great?
How fun is flirting though? And kissing? And laughing so hard your tummy hurts?
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