Is there even really such thing as a 'best friend'? Or do we fake it? Make up excuses. Is a 'best friend' someone you are truly yourself around? Someone in which you have no secrets held? Do we ever meet someone that we honestly trust whole heartedly? Maybe I am the only one that hasn't felt this way. But maybe we all feel a little fucking lonely a lot of the time.

I can feel myself getting anxious again, I'm not writing as much, I am sleeping more, eating worse, my room is a mess. 

I can't let this happen again.

I'll take myself on a date. To the cinema. The cinema always makes me happy. I will dress fabulous and go see a film, The Princess Bride tonight. Go see a film.

An observation

This time last year I dropped out of uni and was having a mental breakdown. Now I'm the happiest I've ever been, I'm making art, I'm making so many friends, I weigh ten kilos less (I'm healthier) but the second I think about studying I melt down again? Maybe I'm not meant to study. How will I survive if I don't study though? I will be poor forever. Would it be dumb to drop out of uni and just work lots and make a lot of art? Or suck it up for a year and a half more and see what happens???? All I really want to do is travel, meet people and make art - I don't care where I work. HELP ME INTERNET WORLD I AM MELTING DOWN BUT ALSO NOT MELTING DOWN BECAUSE I AM REALLY HAPPY

FORCING MYSELF TO CATCH UP ON MY MARKETING SUBJECT AND REALISING THERE'S NO HOPE