We Must Have Died Alone

I smoke the doob you rolled

Drink my red, Bowie sings

To me. You threw my CD's and slammed the door

Said we were too different

Apples and oranges

You had pink hair, when we met

Pink as the setting sky, so beautiful –

I remember. I sighed,

You didn’t notice me.

A year passed.

First day of class, the final year.

You were younger, so eager to play.

We never spoke but I knew you were there.

Did you think of me? Did you watch me from the back row?

Did your ears perk up when you heard my voice?

Weeks pass.

“Have you guys met?”

You suggested we do tequila shots

Out of each other’s belly buttons.

I thought you were so charming, so cocky.

Another year passes.

I see you from a mile away, your freshly shaved head

Laughing at another’s words.

You don’t see me. I’m drunk.

The birthday girl is cutting her cake.

I forget my fears and beeline through the crowd.

I make fun of your shirt. I catch your eyes. You smile.

My heart pounds with excitement, lust and desire.

3 days pass.

We pull up to my house at 3am

After hours of adventure and flirting,

Breaking the ice and testing the waters.

I don’t invite you in. My mother would wake.

A day passes.

We slept on the beach that night.

Getting high and eating lolly snakes

You gave me all the pink ones.

You kiss me on the cheek, a gentleman –

I kiss you on the lips, unusually brave.

We saw each other every day

For a year and a half, so in love.

You lived with me, we travelled together.

We laughed, we cried, went to weddings and funerals.

Hand in hand, we sailed life and love.

And now you want to leave.

An empty body that was once reliant on you –

A body-less soul floating without a cause.

Separate.


By Gemma Elsom (Girl Genius)